Do As I Say, Not As I Do
So I am in a line at the supermarket (again) and I'm in the 15-item-or-less-line (which should move rather quickly, right? Wrong!) Being the friendly, outgoing sort I am, I turn around and say something to this older lady who is clearly the grandmother of this (oh, I'd say) eight-year-old-child, to the effect of "this is supposed tobe the fast lane." Something pretty inane like that, but sure to create rapport since we're both wondering why things are moving soooo slooooowly. So she says to me: "no shit!" I say to the little girl (as inane as I possibly can be, and knowing I'm about to get myself into trouble): "you didn't hear that (wink wink)." And so the grandmother says to me, "oh she doesn't repeat it." And I say (uh oh, let's take it up a notch): "She will." Talk about breaking rapport! The grandmother says "she hears it on television, too, and she never says it, we tell her not to." Time to get the heck out of there! But of course, I can't. I'm stuck in the line. My cheeks are burning, small rivulets of perspiration running down my armpits. Okay, that's an exaggeration, but I can tell my deodorant is working for me. I know, without a shadow of a doubt that one day, this child is going to blurt out "NO SHIT" and be in deep Kim Chee. The very same thing happened to me.
I was probably the same age as that child, playing outside in our backyard, hanging upside down on a Jungle Jim we had in our backyard. I know my father was there. I don't remember anybody else being there. What I DO remember is blurting out the phrase (which, by the way, I had no idea what it meant) GODDAMN IT! Boy, did I get a spanking for that! I had NO IDEA why my father was so upset with me. Talk about pattern-interrupt, negative anchoring, and post-hypnotic suggestion!! It doesn't matter if you tell your children not to do a thing, when you are doing it yourself. The message is that if YOU are doing it (oh, all-powerful, all-knowing adult), your child will think it's okay. The message is much, much louder than your words. It's like smoking cigarettes. Don't you DARE do as I do, do as I say! Naw. 'Fraid that's not how it works. The post-hypnotic suggestion is much stronger in the doing than in the saying.
I wonder when this little girl is going to blurt out "No Shit." The grandma is going to be so surprised. But maybe she will remember the lady in the market who warned her that her grandchild would say it. Maybe the child won't get a spanking, then. But she probably will ; - (
I was probably the same age as that child, playing outside in our backyard, hanging upside down on a Jungle Jim we had in our backyard. I know my father was there. I don't remember anybody else being there. What I DO remember is blurting out the phrase (which, by the way, I had no idea what it meant) GODDAMN IT! Boy, did I get a spanking for that! I had NO IDEA why my father was so upset with me. Talk about pattern-interrupt, negative anchoring, and post-hypnotic suggestion!! It doesn't matter if you tell your children not to do a thing, when you are doing it yourself. The message is that if YOU are doing it (oh, all-powerful, all-knowing adult), your child will think it's okay. The message is much, much louder than your words. It's like smoking cigarettes. Don't you DARE do as I do, do as I say! Naw. 'Fraid that's not how it works. The post-hypnotic suggestion is much stronger in the doing than in the saying.
I wonder when this little girl is going to blurt out "No Shit." The grandma is going to be so surprised. But maybe she will remember the lady in the market who warned her that her grandchild would say it. Maybe the child won't get a spanking, then. But she probably will ; - (
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