Humoring the Hypnotist

In a recent post, somebody talked about being the subject during a learning session where the teacher tried to get her into somnambulism, pinched her to prove that she was there, and because Irene is a good sport, humored that teacher, not telling them that the pain was excruciating!!! Something similar happened to me (or did I happen to it?) at a convention (fortunately, minus the excruciating pain). And I'm not the only one! Always interested in free therapy, I very commonly will volunteer whenever hypnotists want to do a demonstration on me. I still have one thing left (therapy-wise that I've been working on for a long time, so any help is welcome)! The hypnotist (who shall remain nameless) told me he was going to do an Ericsonian induction, but what he really did was the NLP 5-minute phobia cure. I didn't feel any different after the work, but because he was in a large group, and because I didn't want to be difficult, I didn't tell him. "Oh yes, I feel much better,!" said I, in retrospect realizing that maybe no good was served by my lack of honesty. And then later on, I met one of the other volunteers for this hypnotist, and we compared notes. She said she didn't feel any different either, but lied so the hyp could save face. I'm not sure there's a moral here because I can't say what I would do under certain circumstances. I wouldn't want the hyp to be embarrassed. Perhaps I would tell the hyp later on what I really experienced (one-on-one) at the very least, so they would have knowledge.

I have no doubt this happens in our practices, too. But I think there are ways to avoid it, because being humored will not help anyone, most of all our clients! I know that even if we set these parameters, some people will still not tell us the truth, but we can create a safe-space for it to occur. I'll give you an example of how I do it. When I'm about to do my version of EFT on a client, I tell them that based on the information they have given me, I'm going to tap on them using different phrasing. I tell them that a lot of this phrasing will come from my intuition (besides the information that they have given me), and sometimes I might be WRONG. I tell them to please CHANGE the phrasing themselves to something that resonates. I tell them that I don't want them to humor me!

I think some variation of this can be done during intake, as well. And so along with all of Irene's superb suggestions for understanding the parameters of responsibility in the therapist-client relationship, some words about never, ever humoring us. That since our relationship depends on honesty (both ways), it's imperative that they tell us when something doesn't resonate or is not working for them. Will they do it? Maybe. Maybe not. But at least we've opened the door to the possibility of honesty. And that's a good thing.